How often have we exclaimed, “Stop Crying!” to a crying child, or “Stop Fussing!” to a fretting one? Ironically, a child cries or frets because he or she wants to tell us something; and here we are yelling for them to stop. So how can they, or rather why would they?
Being a mother has made me recognise that I should put myself in the shoes of my child in order to see the world through her eyes. When I do that, I begin to appreciate her perspective. I begin to understand her frustration, her insecurities, her fears; and that gives me a way to address the root cause of her distress.
As mothers, we are anxious to do our best for our children. Sometimes I question myself, “Have I been a good mother?” but then again our children look to us not only for our role as a mother, they see us as a coach who cares, guides, mentors, affirms and disciplines. Therefore, being a perfect mother is not as important as being one who collaborates and cooperates with her child to bring out the best in both parties.
My child is my teacher. She has taught me how to be tolerant, and that in understanding the circumstance of the other person, we take the first step towards building solid and profound relationships. So, it is quite amusing how going down a level has actually brought me up to the next.
In my opinion, motherhood is a journey; one that we embark together as mother and child, to chart the path, establish milestones and make fond and beautiful memories along the way.
Happy Mother’s Day and best wishes,
Pua Chee Ling